Dear Shycat,
You are very cute. But you are not going to fit inside my boot. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to cram your fluffy self in there. There is simply too much cat to get into a size 6 mid-calf Doc Marten. Also, you are entirely the wrong shape.
Just so we’re totally clear on this one:
– Left boot vs right boot will not make a difference
– Pawing at the zip will not make a difference
– Walking away and coming back two seconds later will not make a difference
– Taking your head out, turning around three times, then coming back to try again will not make a difference
– None of this is my fault
Please find something else to occupy your morning.
Dear Bossycat,
Shycat is not trying to get into my boot because I have put some treats in it for her and not for you. She is trying to get into my boot because she is insane.
Please stop trying to kill her over treats that do not exist and go back to staring out the window and yelling about how you are somehow going to kill all the pigeons on next door’s ridgepole.
Yours sincerely,
Your Owner
(Rather frazzled)
(And late for many, many deadlines)
(And yes, very aware of the irony of taking time out of a frantic schedule to pointlessly blog about her cats)
(Just kill me now)
(It’s probably kinder)
Cassandra Parkin 