Today, we woke up to the referendum results. 52% of us said we should leave; 48% said we should stay; so we’re leaving, because that’s exactly how democracy is meant to work. I was one of the 48%, so it’s safe to say this isn’t the very greatest day of my life so far. So I thought I’d go to IKEA, because I’m basically quite shallow and looking at stuff with funny names and buying things I never knew I wanted makes me feel better about the world.
Unfortunately, everything they are selling today is horrific. Some examples:
This heap of dead rabbits:
This vat of slaughtered piglets:
This bin full of rats:
This child-sized cabin-bed (with integral night-time boogeyman):
This headless armless dummy dressed in a blue strait-jacket that wants to sell you an apron:
This surgical experiment combining a frilly blue fish with a human eyeball:
This giant-sized photo of a leather vagina:
This man who regrets his robotic hands:
This woman being eaten by her own skirt:
Finally, this psychotic bookcase coming to crush the other bookcase while the lamp and sofa look on helplessly:
But hey, the Swedish word for “biscuit” still appears to be “kaka”! So that’s still fun.