Posts Tagged ‘incredibly weird shit’

Yesterday afternoon, while working very hard and not in the least bit conducting idle displacement activities as a substitute for actually getting words down on the page, Mumsnet circumstances beyond my control required me to click onto the following webpage:

Persun wedding dresses 3

Reasonable site structure, pretty dresses, models who look both beautiful and plus-sized, five minutes looking at potential wedding dresses for fellow Mumsnetters duly frittered, okay.

And then I read the lead-in copy:

Persun wedding dresses 2

“You must have been bothered by failing to get a plus size wedding dress to match with your fat body shape. Persun.co.uk will solve your problem and help you greet the arrival of the wedding. Plus size wedding dress on Persun.co.uk, you will never be regretful to get one. Welcome to our online store!”

That’s a direct transcription, by the way.

I don’t know an awful lot about selling wedding dresses, but I’m pretty sure the phrase “your fat body shape” doesn’t usually play a central role.

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I have a brother. My brother is awesome. My brother is also deeply strange, in a way that I sort of recognise but also am sort of in awe of. One of his favourite things to do is to post links to strange websites on his FB feed, then gently but firmly refuse to tell us how he found them.

Here’s today’s little gem:

This website, Maskon, sells customised silicon masks-plus-breasts, for your dressing-up pleasure. My brother describes this as “Buffalo Bill meets the Uncanny Valley, with terrifying consequences”.

For some inexplicable reason, every one of these masks appears to be called Susan:

In case you can’t quite visualise how a person might look dressed up in their Susan mask, there’s also a whole gallery of people modelling Susan.

Now, just so we’re clear – I firmly believe in the concept of personal bodily autonomy. Everyone one of us has the right to look any old way that makes us feel good, however unusual other people might find our choices.

But – damn…

Now, here’s the fun-for-all-the-family part. Who wants to try and guess what search terms my brother might have used to lead him to his destination?

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