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Today, we woke up to the referendum results. 52% of us said we should leave; 48% said we should stay; so we’re leaving, because that’s exactly how democracy is meant to work. I was one of the 48%, so it’s safe to say this isn’t the very greatest day of my life so far. So I thought I’d go to IKEA, because I’m basically quite shallow and looking at stuff with funny names and buying things I never knew I wanted makes me feel better about the world.

Unfortunately, everything they are selling today is horrific. Some examples:

This heap of dead rabbits:

Bright eyes, burning like fire

Bright eyes, burning like fire

This vat of slaughtered piglets:

Somehow rendered worse by the perspex sides

Somehow rendered worse by the perspex sides

This bin full of rats:

EWWWW

EWWWW

This child-sized cabin-bed (with integral night-time boogeyman):

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This headless armless dummy dressed in a blue strait-jacket that wants to sell you an apron:

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This surgical experiment combining a frilly blue fish with a human eyeball:

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It gets worse the closer you get

The closer you get, the worse it becomes

This giant-sized photo of a leather vagina:

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This man who regrets his robotic hands:

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This woman being eaten by her own skirt:

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Finally, this psychotic bookcase coming to crush the other bookcase while the lamp and sofa look on helplessly:

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But hey, the Swedish word for “biscuit” still appears to be “kaka”! So that’s still fun.

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