Not pictured: Razorblade Crisps, Burn Marshmallows, Discomfort Doughnuts, Agony Cheesecake.
Archive for April, 2013
Posted in Great Moments In Retailing, tagged cassandra parkin, costcutters south cave, funny shop signs, funny signs, great moments in retailing, pain chocolate, south cave on April 26, 2013| 1 Comment »
“Okay, so we want to perpetuate the lazy yet profitable stereotype that “thin” is a direct synonym for “beautiful”, while also paying lip-service to the notion that women have value as autonomous human beings rather than merely as objectified walking statues.”
“To achieve this, we will show a thinner-than-average celebrity in killer heels, being groomed and brushed like a prize pig in a county show and contorting herself into unnatural poses for the camera, while repeatedly using the word ‘confidence’. This will demonstrate in every possible way that we think women should define their self-worth entirely by how closely they conform to a near-unachievable aesthetic standard, without actually saying the words BE THIN AND WEAR MAKE-UP AND STRUGGLE AROUND IN STUPID SHOES OR YOU WILL BE UGLY AND HATEFUL AND NO-ONE WILL LIKE YOU EVER.
“And just to round things off, we’ll include the word ‘sparkle’. Because, as everyone knows, all women should be glittery like diamonds and tinsel.”