Because Clearly, Manufacturers Are Putting Loads Of Expensive Cabling In My Phone Box For Absolutely No Reason.
These are, apparently, the cables that came in the box with my last mobile phone, which is a BlackBerry Bold, and is very nice. I say “apparently” because I’ve never actually been allowed access to them. And the reason why I have never been allowed to get within touching distance is that if I was left alone with them for more than thirty seconds, I would immediately throw them away.
I don’t know what it is about me and mobile phone cables. Intellectually, I can see they must all have a purpose. They have little endy thingies that fit into the teeny weeny small little ports on my BlackBerry, and bigger endy thingies that fit into the slightly bigger ports on my laptop. Now that I come to look, there even appears to be a set of headphones in there (which could help me bail on my passionate but deeply dysfunctional relationship with my iPod). And yet, just looking at them makes me cross. I instinctively feel they are a waste of time. Every little part of me wants to throw them in the bin.
Until my deliciously strict husband staged a Mobile Phone Cable intervention last year, I had done the throwing-the-cables-in-the-bin ritual with every single phone I’ve owned. It always goes the same way. I open the box. I see my new phone, all pristine and pretty, lying in in its little cardboard tomb. I prise it out. I grab the charger, because even I can see that I’m going to need the charger. In doing so, I expose the nest of plastic-wrapped cabling in the space beneath. And I think, “Nope, definitely won’t be needing them” and throw every single one of them out. The only reason why I was able to take the picture above is that Tony pounced on the box, wrestled it from my hands and hid it somewhere that I’m still not allowed to know the location of.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that, despite my BlackBerry being the third Smart Phone I’ve owned, it’s the only one I have ever managed to use to connect to the Internet. Or download photos from. Or use to post to Facebook.
I was once asked what I imagined those cables were for, and I was surprised to find that actually, I did have an opinion about this. In my head, they are somehow connected to the fact that different countries have slightly different electricity systems. Rather than ship different box contents to different markets, mobile phone manufacturers have clearly decided it’s much more efficient, logical and environmentally-friendly to ship every single possible connector solution to everyone. I’m not sure which countries I imagine use USB connectors to plug in the kettle, but if you ever happen to go there, let me know.